Lela, Let Me Explain Love

June 27, 2015

Dear Lela,

This week something incredible happened, and I want to make sure you remember this.

I know that you won’t believe me, but when you were only six months old, our country did not allow everyone to be married. There were certain rules and requirements, and if you did not meet those, you could not be married.

Imagine you were walking down the street, holding your favorite toy, and someone came up to you and told you that you shouldn’t love that toy. That toy was not meant for you. But you know that you love that toy, and you don’t want to give it up. That’s pretty sad, right?

I know that’s an overly simplistic take on what I’m about to tell you, but you’re only 6 months old and I think a lot of this will go over your head. So bear with me as I try to make this all make sense.

Yesterday, I woke up and things were very different. When I woke up, I went onto a “website” on the “internet” called “Facebook” (apologies in advance for all the quotes; I don’t know if these will exist when you read this), and several people claimed that the Supreme Court of the United States of America had agreed that everyone should be allowed to be married, regardless of their gender.

I’m sorry, I know those are confusing words. So let me explain this in words you’ll understand.

Before June 26, 2015, there was great debate and conflict on who should and should not be allowed to be married. Certain groups of people thought they should be able to tell people that they could or could not promise to be partners until they died.

Yesterday, that all ended. And when you are old enough to read, I want you to read this. It has shaped your future, in the best possible way.

But because you will be a teenager when you read this, I know that you will not read 103 pages to find out what happened. So here’s the court’s summary:

The Court, in this decision, holds same-sex couples may exercise the fundamental right to marry in all States. It follows that the Court also must hold—and it now does hold—that there is no lawful basis for a State to refuse to recognize a lawful same-sex marriage performed in another State on the ground of its same-sex character.

And to summarize it even further- as of June 26, 2015, you can marry the person you love. Period.

Pretty cool, right?

Lela, mi amor, I love you so much. So very much, in fact, that even thinking of how much I love you makes me love you even more. I want, more than anything, to see you smile. And I want you to smile because you know that you are truly content, and that you are loved.

I want you to know that you have the best mom that any baby could have. I am in the basement writing you this letter that you may never read, and a minute ago I heard a thunk from upstairs. I looked at the “Nanny Cam” (again, maybe not a thing when you read this) and I can watch your mom soothing you back to sleep. She works hard and she sometimes gets frustrated, but in the end she loves you.

And I love you. I know I work a lot, but it’s because I want your mommy to be able to be with you more, and because I want to be able to buy you lots of Legos when you’re older. Star Wars legos, mainly. But I will buy you whatever Legos you love.

And your family loves you. You have a wonderful, interesting, loyal family. Please make sure to return that wonder and interest and loyalty to them.

And everyone who has ever met you loves you. You were at two different parties tonight and everyone who saw you commented on how beautiful you are. And they loved you, and I feel so proud when people comment on your beauty and strength.

You will understand what love feels like, on so many levels. You will know true love from your family. And you will probably meet another person, probably of a similar age to you, and you will “love” them. And then you may actually love  one of them. And then perhaps you will commit yourself to them, because you LOVE them.

Lela, I want you to know that I support you and I will be by your side, no matter what. If you tell me you love someone, I will tell you that I support that love, because I love you too.

When you are grown up, you will be able to make some very important decisions. One of those decisions is who you want to marry.

I will stand with you at the aisle and hand you off to another person, as long as you tell me that you truly love them. I am proud of the decision that our justices made, and I will one day be proud to tell the officiant that I am honored to give your hand in marriage.

No matter who the lucky person may be.




PS- Just don’t forget that we were the first to love you. Your mom and I may seem a little bit strange, but we love you more than you will ever know.




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